The Conversation with Amanda De Cadenet

Be Fearless: The Conversation with Amanda De Cadenet

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Amanda interviewed Lady Gaga who talked about becoming sexually active as a teen. I truly appreciate Gaga’s perspective on being a sexually active teen. Gaga gave account of her experience as a sexual active teen. She recalls not enjoying or feeling special during intercourse. She admits to engaging because she felt like she was suppose to, if she wanted to feel like a women.  She encouraged girls to wait until they become older.  I was surprise to hear Gaga encouraging young ladies to wait; nowadays many believe that isn’t realistic. I think it is extremely realistic. Gaga even admits that as a young teen your mind and body hasn’t matured enough to make such a decision. I hope The Conversation with Gaga encourages a young girl to wait until she is older and better prepared for the emotions that come with sexual intercourse.

Gaga talked about her parents sticking it out within their marriage. She talked about their journey and how they’re happier than ever before.  Which is great but I wonder how much of their happiness is attributed to Gaga’s success? “Just sayin”

Portia De Rossi author, wife and actor discusses her sexuality. Being characterized as a sex symbol. Not feeling like the sex symbols she portrayed on Ally Mcbeal. Then she also had struggle with her sexuality. Being a lesbian and not having any lesbian role models.

I have some trouble relating to her situation. Although I have compassion for her struggles. I would love to hear more about women who have had these experiences. I have gay friends but many are bi sexual. Many women I know who have had lesbian experiences, had them  after having unsuccessful female male relationships.

Portia talked about having much of her self-worth being attributed to her appearance.  How she struggle with weight issues.While  listening I am overwhelmed with thought of how many different issues we as women deal with everyday of our lives. Problem like The Conversation brings these issues to the forefront. Awareness is 90% of problem solving ladies.

Portia says her parents never really made her feel worthy. As parents we push our children. Sometimes we don’t recognize our children’s efforts as an tactic to make them strive for excellence. I am guilty of pushing my children in the same right. But I try to have a dialog about my motives.

Rita Wilson film producer, actress & role model talks about coming from a traditional family. Meeting men who wanted the same relationship.  She and Amanda talks about building a long lasting relationship. Weathering life problems as a couple, becoming better as time moves on.

Rita talked about being stuck, growing and moving forward. Rita shares that she suffered from being stuck not recognizing the ability to grow and become better.

 

Leslie Bennetts author of The Feminine Mistake & Contribution Editor of Vanity Fair.  Leslie  and Amanda discussed women being self-sufficient. How many of us spend our lives doing what society says we should do, devoting ourselves to our husband and family.  Leslie says she spoke about the benefits of working women.  Leslie says workingwomen have better mental and physical health than full time homemakers.

She talked about how it’s better for the whole family. She states the stay at home mom were unhappy. Amanda says, women aren’t encouraged to make the choice of working and having children.  Leslie refers to the media stating “Isn’t it great women are moving into the workforce and becoming doctors and lawyers”. Then she says women are encouraged to opt out of work for 15 years, living a Martha Stuart lifestyle. But then not being able to re-enter the workforce.

I am a bit bewildered by this idea. Housewives and homemakers are a thing of the past. How many women today are stay at home moms? How many women would love to be a stay at home mom? I personally am conflicted by the entire conversation. I can see how stay at home moms can feel depressed or devalued. I think it depends on the individual and how she defines her worth. I was a young mom who worked throughout my 20’s to support my son. I won’t go into to much detail but I have guilt about not being there for my 1st child the way I am able to be there for my second. Again, I think it’s where you find your worth. Today I hope to inspire women to be the best they can be. If that is a stay at home mom or a corporate mom, it really depends on the individual. I have friends who love to be available to pickup children after school. Instead of raising latchkey kids. Women who  would like to participate in philanthropic activities. I know women who thrive for corporate success. Happiness and fulfillment is a choice ladies. You have to choose happiness regardless of what road you choose.

Leslie made a statement that struck me.  She says many women  have been trained to conceptualize marriage and family as the central part of their lives. She referred to “Marriage and Family” as being a phase. I can’t say I agree, to some degree I am offended by this statement. I believe part of the erosion of family and family values is a result of this type of thinking.

Yes we raise our children and they grow up. I don’t believe that is a reason to put less importance on marriage and family. Girls Best Friend and Co has package called “Staging Your Comeback” Which encourage women to effectively enter the second stage of life.  I believe the early years, marriage and family is very central to women’s lives.  As it should be…  As we grow, like anything else we re-chart our course.

Leslie begins to talks about the financial infidelity of her spouse. It appears that in Leslie’s marriage the traditional roles were reversed. How her husband put her family in financial debt. Debt that nearly ruined her entire family. She says because of her income she was able to save their home.  I truly wonder what was going on with her husband. Did he not feel worthy? Did he feel empty and unappreciated?

Leslie and Amanda discuss women being more financially aware. They talked about women sacrificing their career for the family. I am conflicted about this topic. I believe the underlying factor is the spouse. When you feel appreciated and valued, truly valued by your spouse it makes the sacrifices acceptable. Leslie and Amanda implied a women making sacrifices for her husband had something to do with self-esteem. I can’t say that I agree.  You can have great self-esteem and choose to put family first.  I have always put my family 1st and the only time I feel resentment is when my spouse doesn’t recognize my sacrifices.

Many of the topics involve women and how they related to men. I am a woman who believes women are suppose to be with a man. Like Gaga said her parent’s stuck it out. They are happy. My solution to improve female and male relationships. Mom’s let us be mindful of how we raise our son’s. Let us teach our son’s to respect women and appreciate women for all we bring to the table. Through all the discusses about men and women I rarely hear about women raising their son’s to treat women how they would like to be treated by their man.

 

Leslie drill homes the idea of a career being and investment in your self, continuing to pay divides. She talks about building your own future.  Again, this concerns me. I encourage women to be smart and make the right choices. But I believe it is a balancing act. I would like to see more mom’s involved in their children and adultlesents lives. Yes, your children will grow up and have an autonomous life but we are responsible for the shaping of our children. I regularly participate in social media and I am taken back by what I see from young women and men on social media sites. I always ask where the heck is that child’s mother. Does this women know her daughter has a half naked picture online for the world to see? I honestly believe these are the children of those women who are seeking those careers outside the home.  Granted it’s a difficult juggling act but it is our responsibility as moms.

 

Please forgive me for stating the obvious, Leslie says she is very happy. She has wonderful children. She states, what sustains her is the life she has built. My first question to Leslie is what is your relationship with your children?  Secondly, please ladies do not crucify me for this, if Leslie is  so happy I wonder why she is carrying an extra 100lb or more? Excess weight at that magnitude usually is attributed to feeding something that is ailing you.  Something that a successful career cannot cure.

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