​How many times have you been in a situation where a woman you considered a “friend” has tried to throw you under the bus or even backstab you?  I’m guessing at least once or twice in your life.  There is nothing worse than a snake in the grass, or a “frenemy”.  The worst kind of enemy is the kind that knows all your weak spots, and usually those are the “good” friends that go bad. I never understood why someone I cared so much for or trusted, would ever want to hurt me or embarrass me… until I got older. And the only reason I could think a person would do this , is out of envy.  It’s sad because sometimes a woman needs the comforting female friend(s) to provide the emotional support that a man cannot, there is nothing like having good female friends to vent to.  


​My question is, does a person go into a friendship purposely playing the friend role just to get close enough to do the most damage, or does one slowly turn into a frenemy as time passes?  I guess it has to depend on the woman. A woman may have no intention of trying to bring harm to you at first…but once they see you as a threat, it’s a wrap. Sometimes it is only BECAUSE a woman sees you as a threat that they may want to befriend you, if you can’t beat them, join them….then beat them later.

​  I have been in plenty situations where this has happened to me, and every time I see the obvious signs, I choose to ignore and give the person the benefit of the doubt. Honestly, I am never making that same mistake ever again, but that doesn’t mean I am saying to stop befriending women out of fear that they may betray you, no. All I am saying is that caution needs to take place, and be mindful of how comfortable you get with a person for they can use things against you.

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One Reply to Frenemies

  1. GBFANDCO says:

    This is a very serious topic. I think so many of us as women have experienced this with our girlfriends. It really saddens me. It saddens me the most because we really really need one another. Times in societies has changed so much that the younger generation may not know what it is to have a girlfriend. A true blue girlfriend.

    Your girlfriend is suppose to support you with all your dreams. We should make memories with our girlfriends. You know, just having coffee and talk-= about everything from fashion to what’s going on in current events. Your girlfriend should help you if you need a babysitter. Your girlfriend should support you when you are having disagreements with your significant others. Human emotional relationships are a physiological need, just like we need food and shelter we need companionship. So many of us replace our girlfriends with our boyfriends. Face it ladies, men cannot be there emotionally for us like another women can. Me are not socialized or equipped to offer that type of support.

    Venus asked why has other women betrayed her. Venus I am so sorry, but the betrayal has nothing to do with you Venus. The betrayal begins with the Frenemy’s ego. The ego is a very powerful thing. But let me begin by saying we are not our ego. Our ego is a part of us we cannot escape. By definition the ego creates havoc and conflict. The only solution is awareness. The frenemy betrayed you Venus because she struggled with her own ego. When the frenemy see you, she often times sees what she is not. She may even see in you what she would like to be. The ego tells the Frenemy, “Who does she think she is?” “ She thinks she better than me!” “Let me take her down a notch”. Some call it insecurity but it is driven by the ego.

    Venus don’t give up on girlfriends. We truly need one another. In the future when a friend betrays you. Venus call her on the carpet. But don’t do it in a combative manner. Days after the event occurs, attempt to talk it out with her. Tell her exactly how you felt and what exactly she said or did to betray you. Try not to get into an argument. Just state your feelings. The purpose Venus it to make the Frenemey aware. We are not all aware of our ego. Sometimes our ego speaks to us, we’re unaware or unconscious. When you point out your feeling, the frenemy is force to recognize and exam her own behavior. I am not saying she will become a better friend but I think it’s important you make her exam her own behavior. If she is inherently good. She will apologize and in the future she will be aware.

    Our ego as a society is out of control. I have read so many times where women have given up on their friendships. Saying they have out grown that relationship. Then they turn to their significant other for the type of companionship a women should receive from her girlfriend. Then when he falls short she wonders why.

    I know it appears like I am on a tangent but this topic is very important to me. I need girlfriends, we all need girlfriends. I have been betrayed in the same manner frequently. I read “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle, which gave me insight on many of my relationships. I attempt to be the change that I seek.

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